I was a pair of listening ears as long as I have known anything. People would pour down their frustration, their tears, and everything to me* and I would take it all like a good boy. I did never actually understand their conditions but my suggestions relieved them to some level. But as I become older, experiences started to hammer me, shape my soul and for better or worse – changed me. Today, we will discuss 5 things you endured that proves you are a grown up.
It necessarily is not true for everyone but as a general idea might define your overall characteristics as a living adult human being.
Rejected for Love
Everyone gets rejected: this is a fact. It happens to everyone (unless you’re utterly gorgeous and saying no to you might cause repercussions). But yes, it is natural. It’s hard to avoid and can be very painful if the person who rejected you works with you, or go to school with you.
Everyone is beautiful, it’s all about the eyes who see it in you. Yes, a guy can have a pair of well balanced glowy eyes and nice cheekbones with some well defined manly jaws but it’s his character that can hold you up during tough times. Same goes for women, if you are only attracted to girls with a good figure, oh God you’re in trouble during old age. There is more to us human individuals and if it’s just good looks that attract you to someone, then trust me, it’s not gonna end good for you.
Rejection is mandatory. It is essential. It teaches us how it feels with the absence of romance and keeps us from getting arrogant and a cruel jackass.
Humiliated in Public
Has it ever happened to you?
You’re screaming at someone for their bad service, in front of everyone and after a while, it turns out, it was your fault to start with.
Well, embarrassing but justice well served.
But what happens, when this situation is reversed, someone is insulting you, in front of people and you do not know how to respond. You either lash back or cry. And both outcomes are worse for your self-respect.
What do you do? You go home and lie down and feel even worse. Trust me, happened to me more than I can count. It happens to everyone time to time and if someone manages to evade this unfortunate yet essential experience, they are standing in the shadows. That is not completely a bad thing at all, not everyone seeks attention. But that prevents you from learning to acknowledging your mistakes and to not give a damn at certain points in your life.
Hanging out with friends is a cure if you find it hard to understand yourself in the beginning.
Unless you’re living with your parents or born as a silver spoon lad, you would face a financial crisis if not has faced yet. Every new adult goes through this.
You will cut back your luxuries to pay for utilities, you will sleep without AC, you will have to clean your house yourself and might as well go to bed hungry during desperate times.
IT IS OKAY!
You will rise through it, there is no need to worry. Play the song below and close your eyes for few moments.
Regret of choosing wrong
Should I eat white pasta or brown sandwich? Hmm…
Made the wrong choice and now your chest is burning. White flour is bad for you but it is tasty! You’ve made a bad choice and now you’re suffering. But lucky are those; for whom this is worse. Sometimes you make a choice, that affects not only your life but the lives of others. Especially your loved ones.
You chose a wrong woman as a wife, and now your kids are suffering. Well, thank god then. Because you heard this already but I might tell you as well: “Everything happens, happens for good.” And it might look like it, but your bad choices were not bad after-all. Yes, they affect in the short run, but life is too beautiful to cry about your decisions.
If you’re Afraid, don’t do it
if you decide to do it, don’t be afraid
God knows we make a lot of wrong choices, and there is no way out of it. But bad choices if they are, it helps us to grow and make better decisions in future. Both ways, we win eventually.
It’s hard to lose someone you held close to you. But every connection, every tie is temporary. You are born alone and you will die alone, we cannot escape this reality. Yes, attachment, as told by Lord Buddha, causes sadness when broken but we should not avoid attachment to this fear at all.
Detachment can mean the death of someone close to you. It can mean love of your life left you, it can mean you lost your writing hand and you were a writer. Detachment is the ultimate cause of sadness. There is probably no easy way out of it. Recovery through this hell takes a lot of time and no one can truly not tell you the ways to shorten the recovery period or ease the pain. Infact, you need this pain. And so do I.
This is the only way we become wise, through our sufferings. We help people who are suffering from what we have suffered in past because we exactly know how the pain feels.
Yes, suffering is inevitable and we cannot question the God. But we can least make something good out of these situations and grow out of them.
But remember, life is never about sufferings.
It’s about living.
Always try to grow out of pain rather than to endure it.
And if you need help, consult a doctor or better: friends and family.
And if it needs be, I am with you as well.
Their’s an article I would like you to read, here’s the link.
Let’s hope everything would get better.
Please find me on Instagram and Facebook as “A Reasonable Guy”.
PS: I need an editor for my blogs. If you want to contribute, I will appreciate your help and will help you to grow as well. Hey, I rhymed! 🙂
*Frustration : They would vent on me, or vent in front of me (guilt free pass)
Tears : Even toughest were to cry in front of me, I used to be too polite to say no, so I would have to listen all those stories. More on that, some other day. I am not proud, being a pushover.
Everything: There was some sort of weird aura around me, I guess. It was after my college that I realized, I was not being a therapist or a good friend helping others, I was just a guy with lots of free time (for them) and there is no point listening to those who would whine all the time, pass on their negativity and not contribute anything to anyone other than feeding their own ego. More on this, some other day.